Tag: christian

Balancing Multiple Children

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Moms of multiple kids: Do you ever feel like when you’ve finally accomplished great things with one kid, you realize it’s at the expense of another?

Several months ago I sensed frustration in our youngest boy and we were struggling with potty training. It became my focus and I’m happy to report we made great progress! As I closed the door to write for a couple hours in quiet (thank you hubby whom I do not deserve), I walked up to my bed to find this on my pillow. One of Carson’s favorite animals he had wrapped in a box and given to me earlier in the day. 🥰

Now join me in reflecting on the same day with our middle girl. She’s now been showing overwhelming frustration. She feels left out and shows it in everything she does including breathing. 😳 Poor Kinsey hasn’t seen as much of my patience as her brother has and it’s becoming very obvious.

They are both amazing kids (our oldest is too, she is visiting family out of state for the summer)! But some days #momguilt sneaks it’s way in to assure me I’m failing. That I’ve been selfish. That maybe I wasn’t cut out for kids.

In the moments when I intentionally quiet my heart and listen into the truth, I hear:

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:7‬ ‭

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6:9‬ ‭

What an incredible gift it is to be a mother. A gift I never knew I wanted but so desperately needed. One that would show me how to love another more than myself. 💝

Home

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I’ve come to believe *home* can be both where you are and where you’ve been. A beautiful combination of past, present and future with a huge emphasis on present.

My social media accounts will be taking on a new look as I navigate my way down a road to discovery.

Transplanted from Colorado to North Carolina and growing like the wildflowers – I’ve grown in unexpected places. This move has shown me so many beautiful things, yet I yearn to go back “home.”

Please join me on my search for the meaning of “home” and how we can all come together in making that place special…..wherever that place may be. ⛰

🏠🏠🏠🏠🏠🏠🏠🏠🏠🏠🏠🏠🏠🏠🏠🏠

🔍Follow my Instagram account! @lakinstanfield

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I’m a runner

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I’m not sure when it happened. Maybe it was gradually over time….me becoming a runner. A runner away.

I tried out for Cross Country my senior year of high school and I learned quickly…..well that….God didn’t gift me with fast feet. But emotionally….spiritually….I was FAST. Quick to run away from anything threatening….uncomfortable…scary. North, South, left, right – it didn’t matter. It just had to be away.

Yet, here I am, 28 houses and 30 years later…still learning how to run. Not away, but into. Into hope and relationship. Into my Father’s arms.

Where the promises hold firm. Where community and open communication are the reason not the problem. Where the falling apart somehow makes me whole. Where brokenness fuels my race. Where my imperfection magnifies His perfection and I’m no longer being chased, but pursued. Sought out and loved beyond belief.

“So Jesus told them this story: “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away!”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭15:3-7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

https://www.bible.com/116/luk.15.3-7.nlt

A New Song

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Do the birds know something I don’t yet know? I can hear it in their cheerful song. Never missing a sunrise. The opportunity to sing anew; to skip along linked arm in arm with a melody.

Not versed in scripture or reading, but need they be? In Psalms we read of new joy coming with the morning. Can the birds somehow feel it? Like, maybe somehow, the rising of the light feels differently than the setting? The feeling of warmth after night and darkness? A reminder of God’s faithful returning. The comfort of something staying the same?

Or is it the wake accompanied by full rejuvenation that urges them to sing? Something about rest followed by the still and quiet. A meeting with creation. A song so unexplainable, yet we feel it clear down to the happiest parts of us. The souvenirs we carry and keep from the garden. From a time where everything was new and our creator called it good.

“….weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 30:5

My Quiet Place

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There’s a place aloft the Colorado National Monument that may as well have a spot carved out, about the width of my jeans…..labeled, “Lakin was here.” In those early days as a single mother, when all that mattered was off on a visit to her dad’s- this is where I landed.

In an attempt to quiet my aching heart, the journey would start with 20 minutes on the road- windows down, taking in that easy air. The lightweight, slightly cool, Colorado air (can you tell my newly asthmatic lungs drool at the memory). Swirling its way ever so gently in and out of my freshly cut locks. I always cut my hair when Im feeling unsure.

Enter the gate, park that car and don’t plan on getting back in for at least 3 hours. Sure, it was risky going for a hike alone, but something about that sunshine on my skin made God’s embrace tangible. Like, here honey, sit here and take in my creation – I’ll guard the gate.

Colorado is much different than the North Carolina terrain I enjoy as I pen these words. The sky is open, trees more sparse and rocks ore magnificent. Please don’t hear me say that North Carolina isn’t equally beautiful, with it’s enormous trees, smoky blue hills (I’m from the Rockies, these are hills) and incredible history. There’s just something about home, and home is where I was.

Looking over the entire city with a bird’s eye view, surrounded by the red rocks and silence. Funny how the caw of an eagle – the crash of water against the rocks can be labeled as silence amid the city hustle. Those waves are working hard to smooth the edges over time, as God is with my heart. The sudden crash causes a harsh edge, but the streams continue flowing faithfully time after time.